They do not get discouraged easily. If an evil plot is thwarted, plan B goes into effect immediately. They are quick, they have back-up plans, and they are oh-so-resourceful. They are always one step ahead of me, and they know it...I can see it in their eyes. They let me think I'm in control....but I am not. I repeat. I. AM. NOT.
It seems innocent enough. Normal imagination, curiosity, fun...whatever. But I have reason to believe that much of the time these acts are pre-meditated. And here's why:
- I had just gotten out of the shower, slipped into my room and had the door shut just long enough to put on some clothes. That is NOT enough time for a 2 year old to casually wander into the bathroom I just left, zero in on my mascara that is out of reach, push a stool across the bathroom, retrieve the mascara, locate a poor, innocent dolly and give her a makeover. Trust me. This little girl was on a mission, and it had been carefully planned and carried out to a "t".
- "Divide and Conquer". This is a technique they use on me frequently. They have signals. I haven't figured them out yet (a raise of the eyebrow, a wiggle of the nose, something like that...I'm not sure). But they are good at it. One will create a distraction-like falling down or throwing a tantrum; while the other slowly inches away until they are at a safe distance and can run for it. Since it is extremely difficult for me to carry the "diversion" while chasing the escapee, the other child is then free to run in the opposite direction. Picture this: an out of shape, uncoordinated mommy running and lunging (sometimes in heels) and yelling at two little girls that are giggling uncontrollably as they run in circles, diving between mommy's legs, dodging her attempts to catch them. They love to make me look like the fool that I am.
- In an effort to avoid said "divide and conquer" technique, I decided one day to take Anastyn in the house and shut the door before unbuckling Matty from her car seat. I am getting smarter. *ahem.* It is not possible that 45 seconds or less is enough time to carry out the following mission without it being carefully planned in advance: wait for mom to shut the door, run into the kitchen, open the junk drawer, find a marker that normally wouldn't be there, run back into the living room, find Grandma's leather chair, open marker, scribble all over leather chair, hide marker, climb into leather chair and pretend like nothing just happened. Holy crap she's good.
I could go on and on. But I think you get the point. I am in way over my head. I need reinforcements.
**P.S. After nearly dying of a heart-attack, I almost fainted with relief when I realized the marker was dry erase and not permanent. Phew. Thank you for thinking that through, Anastyn. Grandma would not have been happy!**
